Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
