You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
