gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
