You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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