it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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