He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize