I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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