goodnight i made you a song goodbye
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
