I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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