So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
