He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
