He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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