So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
