I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize