Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
