I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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