Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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