Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize