I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
