the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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