I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
