Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
