defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
