I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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