you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
