There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
