Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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