real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
