I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
