i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
