I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
