absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize