The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
