take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
