Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
