Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
