please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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