Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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