I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
