My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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