sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
