guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
