im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
