i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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