my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
