Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
