can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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