on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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