I want to walk on stilts...naked
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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