it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it's like iHOP with fire
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
