I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize