I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
