What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
