i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
