I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
