Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So squirting runs in the family.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
