38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
