it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
