dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
