She's JV to your varsity
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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