like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
