everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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