before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize