I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Mom said you looked used
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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