Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
