Non-Jews are for practice
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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