You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
